reasons to appreciate Mike Stamford
- he can joke about his weight
- he has great taste in friends
- he introduced Sherlock Holmes and John Watson to each other
- look at that smirk he totally knew what he was doing
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How Moriarty “Faked” His Death (It IS Twins)
Okay. So as some of you may know, in the original Holmes books, Professor Moriarty has a younger brother named Colonel James Moriarty. He was a stationmaster.
In BBC Sherlock, Moriarty has a brother who was also a stationmaster, although his name and age were not mentioned.
In The Final Problem, Eurus plays clips that Moriarty recorded for her before he died. We know this because Eurus plays them for Sherlock, John, and Mycroft when trapped in Sherrinford. During the flashback from 5 years ago in the episode, Mycroft tells Moriarty that he is allowed 5 minutes of unsupervised conversation with Eurus, and though we don’t know what they talked about, we know somewhere in those 5 minutes Moriarty agreed to record them for her. We still don’t know how he got them to her, how he knew what to say, etc.
Of course the trio is taken aback from seeing Moriarty’s face on a screen. After all, Sherlock saw him blow his own brains out. John asks him, distraught:
To which Eurus responds:
But what she says directly after is something I hadn’t noticed up until the most recent time I watched this episode:
NOW. We know that Moriarty has a brother that was a stationmaster. No more assumptions here. This was ACTUAL CONTENT in the show. But we DONT KNOW his name, age, what he looks like, etc. And just because he was younger than Professor Moriarty in the canon doesn’t necessarily mean that Moftiss has to follow this rule in their adaptation. I’m saying this because the phrase “Its never twins” is brought up multiple times throughout the show.
Sherlock says it to John in The Six Thatchers when working on the case called “The Duplicate Man” after he thinks that’s what John’s come to the conclusion of, and again in The Abominable Bride. Watson says, “Holmes. Could it have been twins?” Holmes tells him it couldn’t, so Watson asks him why, provoking Holmes’ “Because it’s never twins.”
Popping up only once in the show might cause it to have no significance, but since it’s popped up more than once, especially regarding a case that was being related to Moriarty’s (Emelia Ricoletti’s case) could mean something. Once is a coincidence, but twice is a pattern. And what do we say about coincidences, especially ones that are written my Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss? Maybe the reason the writers keep bringing up the fact that Sherlock never even considers twins to be a possible solution to Moriarty’s case is because it actually is the solution. Which leads me to my next point.
Shortly after Eurus mentions Moriarty’s brother being a stationmaster, Sherlock, John, and Mycroft are taken to the next task in another room, and during the transition Eurus plays another of Moriarty’s clips:
How obvious can they be? Moriarty’s brother was a stationmaster, as said by Eurus herself, and here we have Jim Moriarty, (or his twin brother) saying “All aboard!” and making freaking train noises.
All I’m saying is, it had to be either Jim or his twin that was on that rooftop in Reichenbach; one of them shot himself, and the other is still out there. But the question is, which Moriarty is it?
the harry potter books rated by Harry’s Sass™
the sorcerer’s stone: dudley asking harry if he wants to practice sticking his head down the toilet and harry replying “no thanks, the poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick” like ooo!!! sick burn!!! good for an 11 year old but overall still in the developmental stage. 6/10
the chamber of secrets: dudley (once again lmao get rekt) telling harry “i know what day it is” and harry replying “well done, so you’ve finally learned the days of the week.” lockhart trying to be all Amazing Teacher™ and shit and telling harry “just do what i did, harry!” and harry saying “what, drop my wand?” overall good but not with as much of an Oomph™ factor as the sorcerer’s stone. 5/10
the prisoner of azkaban: ah yes!!! Harry’s Sass™ in its adolescent years!!!! no longer a toddler, now solidly about 11 years old. draco making fun of harry for fainting at the quidditch game bc of the dementors and saying “shame [the broom] doesn’t come with a parachute - in case you get too near a dementor.” and harry replying “pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, malfoy. then it could catch the snitch for you.” 8/10 purely because he fucking MURDERED whiny bitch ass baby malfoy ha ha take that
the goblet of fire: a good amount of sass!! a healthy amount of sass! perhaps a bit held back though (come on harry get it together). rita skeeter annoying harry and asking for a word and jk rowling LITERALLY writing “‘yeah, you can have a word,’ said harry savagely. ‘good-bye’” like FUCK he is canon savage in this book!!!! DAMN!!!!! and then he reks malfoy AGAIN “you know that expression [your mother’s got], like she’s got dung under her nose? has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?” MOTHERFUCK GO OFF 9/10
the order of the phoenix: HOLY GRAIL OF HARRY’S SASS™. THE MOTHERLOAD. GOD DAMN. when vernon asks him why he’s listening to the news again and harry replies w/ “well, it changes every day, you see.” when hermione’s warning him about picking fights w/ malfoy bc malfoy will make life hard for him and harry’s like “wow, i wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life” like fuck harry!!! tell us how u really feel!!!! literally ANY TIME he talks to an adult he doesn’t like. sassing dudley left & right, putting him in his place w/ “this is night, diddykins. that’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this” like fuck harry brought out the big guns w/ “diddykins”. overall wonderful, truly. a good healthy teenage dose of sass. 100/10
the half blood prince: SHIT DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING EXCEPT “THERE’S NO NEED TO CALL ME SIR, PROFESSOR” LIKE FUCK. BEST PART OF THE WHOLE BOOK. OF THE WHOLE SERIES. FUCKING OWNED SNAPE HE’S FUCKIN REKT LYING ON THE FLOOR CRYING DRINKING SOME CHEAP ASS DISGUSTING ASS FIREWHISKEY. BREAKS THE GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING SCALE SO FAR OFF THE SCALE IT’S ON MARS. INFINITY/10. FUCK.
the deathly hallows: “it’s time you learned some respect!” “it’s time you earned it” sassing the minister of magic hooooooo boy. not much else bc harry’s too busy like saving the world and shit. so extra points for multitasking and being an overall well rounded sass-er. 8/10
bondedforlife